Etiquette Friday

I continue my quest from 2012, when each Friday you join me in my campaign to change “Casual Friday” to “Etiquette Friday” and to encourage people and companies to get involved. Hopefully my messages have reminded you to make some small changes, and that people will be more considerate to others and more aware of their manners. The goal in turn will create a more pleasant and positive society.

Over the last 10 – 20 years keeping in contact and updating friends and family where you are has become so much easier by having a mobile phone. No longer do we need to sit waiting for someone to get off a train or finish a class to pick them up. A quick text or phone message and you know when you should collect the person. However, we can easily spend too much time using technology at the expense of talking face to face.

Constantly texting, checking emails or tweeting

It seems like people have become addicted to their mobile phone or ipad. Whether catching a train, bus or on the underground; walking in the High Street or queueing to purchase an item in a shop, people seem to be communicating via their phone rather than face to face.

I don’t think people think about or realize how rude it is for other people. When I am travelling on public transport I don’t wish to hear other people’s conversation, often the discussion is most boring for anyone else.  In a restaurant you see people with their mobile phone in their hand. When I am with people I like to spend time with them and immerse myself in conversation face to face and give the people I am with my undivided attention.

It seems to have become an addiction for many. People spend so much time on their phones or on social media they forget to live life in the “now.” One of the most hurtful and rude things you can do to family and friends is to ignore them or expect them to compete with your phone for time when you are with them.

Texting

Texting is cheaper for people but walking and texting is distracting and takes your concentration. Walking and talking or texting is even more difficult than walking and talking to a camera. If you want to text in public at least stand still, so that you can be more aware of your surroundings and the other people around you.

Face to Face Communication

When we communicate face to face we express and show our feelings and people respond more positively. We can more easily understand a person’s personality and it helps build rapport more quickly with our colleagues, friends and family.

Like all good things we need to ensure we do not over indulge in the use of them such that they become an irritant to others.

I continue my quest from 2012, when each Friday you join me in my campaign to change “Casual Friday” to “Etiquette Friday” and to encourage people and companies to get involved. Hopefully my messages have reminded you to make some small changes, and that people will be more considerate to others and more aware of their manners. The goal in turn will create a more pleasant and positive society.

Playing Music Loudly

If you travel on public transport you are sure to come across people who play loud music, even when they use ear phones, more often than not, you can still hear the music. It is very annoying especially when it is music you do not like. Sometimes people are not aware of how loud their music is and will give the impression that they have no consideration for other people and have a lack of good manners. Whilst others do not care and play loud music to suit themselves as they think they have the right to inflict their choice of music on other people? It is not so much their choice of music but the loudness of the music, as one person’s rhapsody is another person’s noise.

People can drive a car with a window open, and play loud music. This, to me,  is a sign they are looking for attention, and unfortunately it is usually the type of music that is a loud thumping noise. This behaviour is “anti-social behaviour”, which in some countries would not be tolerated and people would be fined.

You have to wonder what the noise is doing to the person’s ears and how it will affect them in years to come. Will they lose their ability to hear?

What we all have to remember is: enjoy your music, it is a very relaxing thing to do, but be aware not to inflict it on other people.

I continue my quest from 2012, when each Friday you join me in my campaign to change “Casual Friday” to “Etiquette Friday” and to encourage people and companies to get involved. Hopefully my messages have reminded you to make some small changes, and that people will be more considerate to others and more aware of their manners. The goal in turn will create a more pleasant and positive society.

Elbows on the Table

As part of good dining manners it is important to sit up straight at the table and to make sure that your elbows do not rest on the table or for you to lean on them when eating.

Reason for Elbows not to be on the Table

It may be a rule of etiquette not to put your elbows on the dining table, but is there a reason for this?

5 Good reasons:

1. It can block other people from being able to reach items on the table.
2. It blocks the view of other people seeing other guests
3. It can take up space from other people
4. You are more likely to knock something over.
5. When your elbows are on the table, your spine is bent forward, your ribs are pushed inwards and your stomach is squeezed between the two. This is bad for your digestion.

It may be acceptable at the end of a meal when everyone is just relaxing and chatting.

I continue my quest from 2012, when each Friday you join me in my campaign to change “Casual Friday” to “Etiquette Friday” and to encourage people and companies to get involved. Hopefully my messages have reminded you to make some small changes, and that people will be more considerate to others and more aware of their manners. The goal in turn will create a more pleasant and positive society.

Nuisance Callers

Do You Get Marketing Calls?

Over the last hour I have had several phone calls,  thinking that someone  actually wants to talk to me, I pick up the phone and the phone goes dead. It is another marketing call!  Sometimes a number shows up whilst other times it doesn’t. I pay for the number to be shown due to this problem and to allow for clients who misquote their mobile number. However, telemarketers are now using local numbers to make calls to people, to seem more legit and have a better chance of people picking up.

The phone rings again, this time a number is showing, but no message is left.  This is starting to really annoy me especially as it is interrupting my train of thought.  I phone the number back and complain. It turns out to be someone who actually wanted me. I apologise and try to explain but now they put the phone down on me. This makes me feel awful even though I tried to explain and apologise. How a situation can escalate. I email the person apologise and explain and thankfully she understands and contacts me again.

Marketing calls are very annoying and can put you in a bad mood which can then reflect badly on you when dealing with other people. Does this ring a bell? The lesson, take a deep breath and only return or answer the call when you are more relaxed and in a better frame of mind to deal with the situation!

The phone rings again this time someone wants me to advertise in a local school magazine, it goes on! This time I am my usual self, polite but to the point! Not to waste their time or mine.

Remember always try to answer the telephone or return calls in a calm and relaxing tone, as much as possible!

I continue my quest from 2012, when each Friday you join me in my campaign to change “Casual Friday” to “Etiquette Friday” and to encourage people and companies to get involved. Hopefully my messages have reminded you to make some small changes, and that people will be more considerate to others and more aware of their manners. The goal in turn will create a more pleasant and positive society.

Aggressive & Bullying Behaviour

Bullying and aggressive behaviour can happen at any time and anywhere from school to when you are in work or even in your personal life. From childhood we start to learn social skills and being aggressive or a bully is not an acceptable behaviour. It is intimidating for the receiver and can cause a person to lose their confidence.

Workplace

Aggressive bosses can bully their staff. This shows a lack of good management and professionalism, which can be caused by stress and lack of confidence. Ideally HR or senior management should find out the cause and give appropriate training to the people concerned. Personal conflicts are inevitable, whether in business or in our personal lives, but it is important to be assertive not aggressive when discussing or debating such issues. Certain personalities enjoy point scoring and often regard it as fun.

Prime Minister’s Questions

Houses of Parliament

Watching Prime Minister’s Question time often comes across as point scoring rather than a time for serious Prime Minister’s scrutiny. Question time in the Houses of Parliament is supposed to be an opportunity for MPs and Members of the House of Lords to question government ministers. Too often we see ministers heckled, jeered and yelled at, with personal attacks and humiliation in a thoroughly unbecoming manner. This is not professional and doesn’t set a good example for the public, who should be able to look up to our government.

Remember to treat others as you wish to be treated and allow for people’s characters that may be different and they may be more easily offended than yourself. In business, always ensure you stay professional and try to be assertive when necessary and avoid being aggressive to prove a point.

I continue my quest from 2012, when each Friday you join me in my campaign to change “Casual Friday” to “Etiquette Friday” and to encourage people and companies to get involved. Hopefully my messages have reminded you to make some small changes, and that people will be more considerate to others and more aware of their manners. The goal in turn will create a more pleasant and positive society.

Thank You Notes

I was always taught by my parents to write a thank you note when I received a present or if I stayed as a guest with a relative. There seems to be an unwritten rule these days that an e-card or a text message will suffice. Yet everyone loves to receive a thank you note. It means so much more.

10 reasons to write a thank you note, as it can:

1. Demonstrate you really appreciated the gift.
2. Encourage you to complete a task after you have received or experienced other people’s generosity.
3. Show you respect the time and effort the person gave in hosting you for dinner, overnight stay or a weekend break.
4. Teach a child to be grateful.
5. Teach a child to show sentiment in a note and how to write a note.
6. Build up writing skills and develop good handwriting.
7. Bring a smile to the person’s face when they receive the note.
8. Shows you have good manners.
9. Improves your Personal Image.
10. Have people appreciate in return.

So remember to pick up a pen and paper and write a note of thank you next time someone gives you a gift, invites you to dinner, takes you out for dinner or you stay with someone.

I continue my quest from 2012, when each Friday you join me in my campaign to change “Casual Friday” to “Etiquette Friday” and to encourage people and companies to get involved. Hopefully my messages have reminded you to make some small changes, and that people will be more considerate to others and more aware of their manners. The goal in turn will create a more pleasant and positive society.

Being Shy or Being Rude

In a social environment or in a business situation a person that is shy can be mistaken as rude. However rarely will a rude person be taken as shy; they are generally more verbal and expressive with their body language and show a lot more confidence.  If you appear distant and unable to interact with people very easily you may give the impression you are not interested in or don’t care about others. It is important to communicate with people whether in a social or business environment, but that doesn’t mean to say you have to try to be extremely chatty.

Shy people can be people who like to be quiet and yet can be creative or practical people, if you are one of these don’t feel bad about being shy, but practice basic conversation abilities. Try asking open questions when you meet people. If you talk to people they will talk back, you don’t have to talk about yourself or be a great conversationalist. In fact it is good not to talk all about you and find out about the other person not only do people like talking about themselves but it also helps to broaden your outlook and interests. Consider asking people a lot of general questions and most people will soon talk to you.

What is key is that you value yourself and that you are not shy due to a lack of self esteem and confidence. Sometimes shy people are basically overly critical of themselves and of others, or they don’t want to say anything stupid. If this is the case, then consider working on improving both your self esteem and confidence. One way to do this is to consider an image consultation which will help you look and feel good about yourself. Feeling comfortable with how you are viewed by others can go a long way to improving your self-belief and confidence.

Quiet people are often very resourceful and self-reliant. The solution is to practice talking to strangers and you will gradually develop some basic conversation abilities. As we get older we generally get more confident as we meet new and different people.

I continue my quest from 2012,  when each Friday I requested you join me in my campaign to change “Casual Friday” to “Etiquette Friday” and to encourage people and companies to get involved. Hopefully my messages have reminded you to make some small changes, and that people will be more considerate to others and more aware of their manners. This in turn will create a more pleasant and positive society, as well as help people to communicate and  feel better about themselves.

Valentine’s Day

It is important to be courteous at all times,  but particularly on a date and especially on Valentine’s Day.

Here are some reminders on manners for the special day:

1. Personal Grooming - No one wants to be dating someone with bad breath or dirty nails – your image and personal hygiene is vital for success. You don’t have to be dressed from top to toe in designer clothes, but cleanliness and style will pay dividends.
2. What to Wear - It is important to dress so you feel comfortable and to be yourself – your wardrobe personality. Dress appropriately for the event to show you have made an effort and that you care.  Read more.
3. Body Language – Positive body language is important. Eye contact is always a must on a date, but this doesn’t mean you should stare at them. If it is a first date be aware not to invade the person’s inner space. Smile!
4. Get There On Time – Just because women typically take more time to get ready that is no reason at all to arrive late for a date. If you have scheduled to meet at a particular time, be there when you said you would.
5. Small Talk - Find out their interests and hobbies; show you are keen to know more about them. Don’t talk about your interests, for too long, if it doesn’t interest them. Remember God gave you 2 ears and 1 mouth. Listening should be proactive not reactive, ask questions.
6. Turn your Mobile Phone Off
7. Thank you – If you are treated then remember to say thank you!

Always compliment your date on what she is wearing, women love to be flattered.

I continue my quest from 2012,  when each Friday I requested you join me in my campaign to change “Casual Friday” to “Etiquette Friday” and to encourage people and companies to get involved. Hopefully my messages have reminded you to make some small changes, and that people will be more considerate to others and more aware of their manners. This in turn will create a more pleasant and positive society, as well as help people to communicate and  feel better about themselves.

Dialling the Wrong Number

We all have the misfortune of receiving marketing calls and often the phone goes dead when we pick the phone up. This is very annoying and time consuming. It is, also, annoying when someone dials the incorrect number and puts the phone down. People call wrong numbers every day. If you do disturb someone because  you have dialled the incorrect number then have the good manners to say, “I’m very sorry! I have the wrong number!” Don’t just hang up. The person on the other end of the phone may have  been doing something very important, may have difficulty answering the phone e.g. in a wheelchair, or elderly. Apologise and show respect for inconveniencing them.

Conversely, if someone phones you in error politely advise them they have the wrong number or no such person lives here.

A great quote:

Friends and good manners will carry you where money won’t  go.
Margaret  Walker.

I continue my quest from 2012,  when each Friday you join me in my campaign to change “Casual Friday” to “Etiquette Friday” and to encourage people and companies to get involved. Hopefully my messages have reminded you to make some small changes, and that people will be more considerate to others and more aware of their manners. The goal in turn will create a more pleasant and positive society.

Manners for Interviews

I have received some interesting comments from clients recently about how poor people’s manners are at interviews, from lack of punctuality, being ill prepared and, in some cases, lack of interest or consideration in the individual. Both interviewers and interviewees. Following on from last few week’s blogs on Manners for Interviews and Manners for Interviewee, this week I will cover in more detail manners for an interviewer.

Manners for a Job Interviewer

Having good manners when interviewing candidates is important as it not only reflects on you as a person but also the company you work for. Being rude and inconsiderate will give a bad reflection whereas a well mannered person shows high standards as well as consideration for employees of the company.

7 tips or reminders:

1. Be Prepared – Ensure you have read the person’s CV and that you know what information you need to find out from the person. Prepare questions and take a copy of the candidate’s CV to the interview.
2. Dress etiquette – ensure you are well groomed, your clothes are well fitted and that they represent the dress code and brand of your company. First impressions count both ways.
3. Be punctual – ensure you are on time and if delayed you apologise. Show respect for other people’s time if keeping them waiting.
4. Mobile- ensure you turn off your mobile or at least have it on silent.
5. Entrance – greet the candidate or enter the room with energy and enthusiasm.
   How you greet a person reveals a great deal about you- your confidence, your attitude, your refinement and the work environment/culture.
6. Use their Name – remember the candidates name and when introducing yourself, use your first and last name.
7. Body Language – when you meet the candidate give good eye contact, a firm handshake and smile to convey friendship and warmth. It is important to be  positive, relaxed and to give out positive messages.

Show professionalism and thank the interviewee for coming. It will show you have good manners and appreciate their time.