Manners Matter!

Etiquette and Manners are included as part of Appearance Management personal image workshops. Good manners are invisible, subtle, silent and effortless and what is important is knowing what to do, when to do it, and how to do it.  It is about putting other people at ease, about being friendly and using them every day.

Instead of “Casual Friday” I think we should have ” Etiquette Friday.”

Points to think of:

1. Respect other people’s space, time, privacy and priorities.
2. Always return telephone calls, if necessary leave a message on voicemail. Speak slowly and clearly. How good is your voicemail message?
3. Where possible avoid loud rings or conversation on mobiles in public places.
4. Remember to be courteous to people at all times, including colleagues and visitors e.g. offer a drink, take a coat.
5. Keep your promises or at least go back and update people.
6. Introductions, general rule of thumb – juniors to seniors.
7. Table manners can ruin your image, make sure you look and act the part.

Why not pass this message on to your friends and colleagues and start “Etiquette Friday” this week as being polite is good for everyone.

Manners Matter!

As part of our personal image it is important not to let ourselves down with our manners whether we are with strangers, family or friends. Over the last decade manners in public appear to have deteriorated. There is a lack of consideration for others. Avoid letting go a door when exiting a shop, speaking loudly on your mobile, having your ipod loud when listening to music or eating food on public transport and certainly not strong smelling food.

Shaking Hands – the shaking of hands originally started when men wanted to show they were unarmed. Now for centuries they have been used when greeting people. It is important to do it properly. Whether you are shaking a man or woman’s hand you should be firm enough to leave a brief impression of bodily contact but not a bone-clenching or wet fish handshake.

Social Kissing – there is some debate whether this is appropriate as it is acceptable by many as a social gesture. However, it is not the same as shaking hands and it is advisable not to kiss on the first meeting plus ensure you feel confident the person doesn’t feel it is an intrusion. If you are likely to receive a social kiss and prefer not to, it is advisable to stand quite upright and at a distance. Generally, a man kisses a woman on the right cheek or if skilled can manage an air kiss.

“Ps and Qs” (please and thank you )- Remember your please and thank you when being served either in a restaurant or by a shop assistant.

Driving a car- it is amazing how even the politest of people can turn into a fiend once they are behind a wheel. Always be patient and courteous to other drivers. Treat them how you would like to be treated.

Public Transport - always let people off a bus, tube  or train before climbing on. Be a good citizen and stand when there is an elderly person, pregnant women or a disabled person.

Manners will take you where money won’t!

Having good manners is part of our Personal Image hence Business Etiquette is included in my speaking engagements and Appearance Management corporate workshops.
Etiquette is the rules of social behaviour, whilst manners are how we apply them. In the United Kingdom, Royal and State occasions are the most formal. They are organised by Buckingham Palace and guidance is always given to anyone invited.

Displaying good manners can be summarised simply as having respect for others as well as being considerate to other people.  Manners should be consistent, although as people travel more widely and we interface with numerous different cultures we need to be conscious of adapting these according to the people we are with, the environment and circumstances.

There are differences between social and business etiquette, e.g. in a business environment men and women must be given equal treatment; any distinctions are determined by rank and position. In a social context, on the other hand, women often find that men may show a level of attention like holding the door open or pulling out a chair.

Having good social skills enhances your personal and professional image and reputation. It can also give you the competitive edge and help you to stand out from the crowd. It strengthens relationships and with experience you will feel more comfortable as you develop personal poise and confidence. People like being with people they feel comfortable with and whose company they enjoy. Etiquette is about presenting yourself with the kind of polish that shows you can be taken seriously.

Good manners may not be commented on but bad manners will never be forgotten.

I will cover various subjects in future blogs for you to consider as good manners in business.

Another New Year is upon us, so  it is also a good time to adapt and gradually change a few habits. As an image consultant who speaks and runs workshops on Business Etiquette, I think Casual dress is either something suited to a business or it is not and “Casual Friday” is rather dated in the current economic environment. So why not start “Etiquette Friday” where you make a point of communicating pleasantries with your colleagues. A good start would be to always use your “Ps and Qs”; the amount of people that either use them occasionally or not at all is shocking.

Suggestions to take action for Etiquette Friday:

• Say “Good Morning” to someone in your company when first  meeting them whether walking through the office or whilst travelling in the lift.
• Have a coffee with someone you email regarding work and get to know the person.
• Smile as you walk around the office and say good morning or good-bye as you turn up or leave the office.
• Ensure you thank the person that opens a door for you or open the door for them.
• Thank people for delivering your coffee or making a sandwich when you pick them up and smile.
• Avoid making lots of loud phone conversations on public transport  that irritate other people.
• Walking in public, give up – eating on the move, ear pieces with  your iphone or iPod, talking loudly on your mobile which irrates other people you as pass as it ends up as you shouting in their ears as you pass them.
• Stop playing your iPod so loudly that the person next to you also has to listen to it.
• Don’t simply push past someone remember to say “Excuse me,  please” and then say “Thank you”.

Good manners are about being considerate to others and understanding the rules of etiquette and then applying them. We need to treat people as we wish to be treated.

Remember to give eye contact when speaking to others and “Give a smile away! A smile costs nothing but gives much. A smile creates happiness in the home and fosters goodwill in business and it is the sign of friendship”.

Business dining manners are an important part of conducting business. It is said that 50% of business today is conducted over meals therefore the potential for making a good or bad impression should not be underestimated. Your actions are consciously or sub consciously watched and it is an ideal way of building relationships with your clients, so make sure it is a positive one!

Good manners may not be commented on but bad manners do not get forgotten. 

Some management take their prospective employees out for lunch so that they can monitor their manners and see how they behave with the waiters. If they are respectful to the waiters they are more likely to treat their staff correctly.

10 Tips for Business Dining:

1. When inviting clients to lunch or dinner, remember that the restaurant you select is an extension of you and your business. Choose a restaurant to suit you and your clients personality, where the food is of good quality and the service is reliable.
2. Confirm the day before with your client and call the restaurant to confirm details.
3. When accompanied to a table allow your guest(s) to go first and if  you are a group then suggest where people sit. Ensure the guest of honour is seated to the right of the senior host.
4. Offer your guest the better position seat e.g. a view or looking out into the restaurant, although allow for you to see the waiting staff. 
5. Avoid leaving your items on the table e.g. iphone/mobile phone, car keys, etc.
6. Order last if you are the host, but give suggestions if you know the restaurant and it will also give a guide as to the  prices you wish to pay.
7. When the waiter or maître d’ asks for your order, ensure your guests give their order first. Besides being polite, it’s a sign that you are hosting and will be paying.
8. If there is bread, butter  or  water on the table then ensure you offer them to your guests first.
9. Avoid talking with a full mouth.
10. Refrain from starting your food until everyone has theirs, and as the host lead by starting first. 

Contact us if you would like a Personal image presentation or workshop for your staff or  if you require a consultation.

According to the Daily Mail traditional family routines could stop children becoming obese. Eating dinner with the family, getting lots of sleep and watching less TV cuts the risk.

Eating dinner as a family not only encourages better nutrition and regular family meals but it also is a  way of keeping track of what youngsters are eating and identifying any eating disorders.

It will also improve table manners and communication skills. Parents will find it much easier to communicate with their children and find out what they are doing and what interests and excites them. It will help children in later life as well as broaden their outlook, as they learn to  exchange ideas, have conversation and feelings with each other. Family meals are about bonding, they give a child confidence and teach them how to behave with others.

When children become adults and start a job and need to socialise with colleagues and bosses they will be more confident knowing how to communicate and will be self-assured with how to behave and confident with their table manners. This in turn helps them in their careers.

Why not eat together as a family every Friday , check out your manners as I call it Etiquette Friday . This will give you the opportunity to practise your table manners and see how well your communicate with each other as a family.

Whatever we do and whoever we see it is important not to let ourselves down and to be professional at all times. Looking good, being polite and having good communicating skills whether in our business or private life can go a long way.

Looking and feeling good affects how you behave. Look like a slob and you are more likely to behave like one.  Look the part, think the part and you will be the part. Now, more than ever people need to be professional in their work and in their home life. Lead my example to your children.

Professional Etiquette

Having good manners is about presenting yourself with the kind of style that shows you can be taken seriously. When you are confident you feel comfortable and behave well to people around you and they in turn feel comfortable around you. Good professional Manners pay off.

Appearance Management covers Etiquette and Manners in their consultations and workshops see more detilas on Etiquette Friday

I read an article in the Evening Standard  last night how people are using forks and no knives. No doubt due to eating more ready meals and take aways. 

Sadly manners are deteriorating in this country as families eat less together and at the table. Yet poor manners can let you done at interviews as well as when entertaining clients or mxing in a social environment – Good manners may not be commented on but bad manners do not get forgotten. Good manners will also open doors as people like dealing with well mannered people. Companies regularly ask me to include etiquette and manners in my presentations and workshops due to the poor manners their staff have particularly when entertaining or mixing with clients.

Summer holidays are a good time to practise good social skills with your children as I mentioned in a previous blog – Manners and Social Skills for Kids  2009/06/28 .  Children are not born with good manners they learn from their family, teachers and observe other people. We can all relax our manners but we need to know how and when to use good etiquette.

I had a very interesting chat with Roy Basnetton of CityTalk 105.9 based in Liverpool, on 13 May.  We chatted about several topics including the importance of image, wardrobe personality- how the way you dress gives out information about you and how I think Casual Friday should change to Etiquette Friday.

To hear my thoughts and views, have a listen (note: the file may take a while to load…)

Great fun!  Let me know what you think.

When attending a meeting you should stand when a senior manager or top executive enters the room. Then wait until they offer their hand and when shaking hands ensure you always have a firm grip (although don’t squeeze). And look directly in the eye when greeting them.

Remember: Always be conscious that your mannerisms reflect on your professionalism and that of your companies.

Fo more information contact Appearance Management