Have you ever wondered why one person’s idea of smart dress is completely different from another? Why some people are quite flamboyant with their clothing whilst others can be very reserved? Do you have friends or colleagues that are always in a rush and are more often than not late for events or meetings? Do you notice how some people are very detailed whilst others look for the bigger picture. How some people like change whilst others do not.

It is well understood that how we dress is a strong indication of what we are like as a person. What you show on the outside is an indication of what is on the inside. We give out messages about our inner self, our approach to life, about our individual personality. It is not necessarily a case of right versus wrong, although it can be a case of appropriate or inappropriate. Your clothes play an important part in how you come across to others.

As an image consultant, I think it is very important for me to understand a person’s wardrobe personality, so that I can help them to choose clothes that they will not only look good in but feel good and be more confident. As this is so important I decided to write two book son the subject with a questionnaire so that people can work out their wardrobe personality type and also receive tip s on what brands of clothes they will enjoy.

Adele won six prizes at the Grammy awards this week, which was wonderful. It was also great to see a person comfortable with who she  is and wearing clothes that she enjoys. They reflected her wardrobe personality – romantic and classic but with a modern twist.

From the style and fabric of her clothes to her hairstyle, jewellery and shoes they gave out a message of who she is, her personality and most importantly they helped her to feel great and confident in front of a massive audience of famous musicians.

The clothes you wear give out messages about who your are – your “inner self.” When you happy with your appearance and you understand what style , fabrics and accessories make you feel happy you can  have a wardrobe of clothes you feel great in.

My book “Being Truly You – Discovering your Own Unique Wardrobe Personality” for Men and for Women  has a questionnaire to help you find out your personality types . Included is information on each personality and the type of brands of clothes you will enjoy.

Do you want a Wardrobe of Clothes that when you get up each day or go out in the evening it is quick and easy to choose as well as looking and feeling good?

Do you want a wardrobe of clothes that suits your budget and you wear 80% of the clothes the majority of the time and the 20% is for occasional wear, instead of being the other way around?

As an image consultant, for over 17 years , I have helped people to have a simple wardrobe they enjoy, so here are some of my tips on how to achieve a great Wardrobe of clothes:

• Be realistic about your body shape, understand your shape, size and bone structure. Who is perfect? Kate Moss, Cheryl Cole or Jennifer Lopez ; Rafael Nadal, Roger Federer or David Beckham? They are all different shapes and sizes.
• Choose colours that flatter your skin tone and compliment you, hence making you look more vibrant, healthier and younger. Don’t just buy black wear colour.
• Understand your wardrobe personality e.g. what styles fabrics and accessories you feel good in and enjoy wearing.
• Build a wardrobe of clothes that suit your lifestyle and budget.
• Mix and match your items, so that you have different looks  with a few items.
• Add accessories to change and update your look e.g. scarves, jewellery, shoes.
• Don’t be a slave to fashion, choose to suit you.
• Think CPW – cost per wear. An item costing £250 and worn 100 times, costs £2.50, whereas an item costing £50 and worn once costs £50 and more expensive.
• Plan and organise your wardrobe at least 2 – 3 times a year. Make a list of what you need each season.
• Allow some time, like any project, amend and adjust it on a regular basis and you will start to look, feel and be your very best and it can all be within a planned budget.

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Manners Matter!

Etiquette and Manners are included as part of Appearance Management personal image workshops. Good manners are invisible, subtle, silent and effortless and what is important is knowing what to do, when to do it, and how to do it.  It is about putting other people at ease, about being friendly and using them every day.

Instead of “Casual Friday” I think we should have ” Etiquette Friday.”

Points to think of:

1. Respect other people’s space, time, privacy and priorities.
2. Always return telephone calls, if necessary leave a message on voicemail. Speak slowly and clearly. How good is your voicemail message?
3. Where possible avoid loud rings or conversation on mobiles in public places.
4. Remember to be courteous to people at all times, including colleagues and visitors e.g. offer a drink, take a coat.
5. Keep your promises or at least go back and update people.
6. Introductions, general rule of thumb – juniors to seniors.
7. Table manners can ruin your image, make sure you look and act the part.

Why not pass this message on to your friends and colleagues and start “Etiquette Friday” this week as being polite is good for everyone.

As an image consultant I help people with their personal image, this includes their body langauge.

Body language is a way in which we show what we are thinking and feeling through conscious and subconscious gestures, bodily movements and facial expressions. We can say one thing but mean another and our body language will show this, as it is largely controlled by the subconscious.

Body Language is part of our personal image and we need to ensure we are giving out the right message. We need to appear confident, trustworthy and, in the right situation, powerful. We also need to recognise other people’s body language, so, we can adapt our body language in given situations e.g. if a person feels threatened we can put them at ease.

The meanings can vary from culture to culture, so when you travel abroad you need to understand the various cultures, study them and observe their various behaviours.  This is a subject that cannot be covered fully in this session, but to give you some ideas of how to demonstrate a positive attitude you need to have: good facial expressions, good posture, eye contact, smile, good handshake, enthusiasm and show you are actively listening.

Learn to understand both yours and other people’s body language. Ask for feedback from friends or colleagues or review any videotapes of you making a presentation. You may see things you would never have believed or realised you did before.

It is amazing how much information we can give out to another person with our body language. Actions, as they say, speak louder than words. A clear indication of this is the new film “The Artist”, a silent black-and-white movie set in Hollywood during the age of flappers and fedoras, which has won a prize at the Globes and could well win more at the Oscars. Its leading actor, the Frenchman Jean Dujardin, won the award for best comedy actor at the Globes, without saying a word!

Manners Matter!

As part of our personal image it is important not to let ourselves down with our manners whether we are with strangers, family or friends. Over the last decade manners in public appear to have deteriorated. There is a lack of consideration for others. Avoid letting go a door when exiting a shop, speaking loudly on your mobile, having your ipod loud when listening to music or eating food on public transport and certainly not strong smelling food.

Shaking Hands – the shaking of hands originally started when men wanted to show they were unarmed. Now for centuries they have been used when greeting people. It is important to do it properly. Whether you are shaking a man or woman’s hand you should be firm enough to leave a brief impression of bodily contact but not a bone-clenching or wet fish handshake.

Social Kissing – there is some debate whether this is appropriate as it is acceptable by many as a social gesture. However, it is not the same as shaking hands and it is advisable not to kiss on the first meeting plus ensure you feel confident the person doesn’t feel it is an intrusion. If you are likely to receive a social kiss and prefer not to, it is advisable to stand quite upright and at a distance. Generally, a man kisses a woman on the right cheek or if skilled can manage an air kiss.

“Ps and Qs” (please and thank you )- Remember your please and thank you when being served either in a restaurant or by a shop assistant.

Driving a car- it is amazing how even the politest of people can turn into a fiend once they are behind a wheel. Always be patient and courteous to other drivers. Treat them how you would like to be treated.

Public Transport - always let people off a bus, tube  or train before climbing on. Be a good citizen and stand when there is an elderly person, pregnant women or a disabled person.

Manners will take you where money won’t!

Whether you are having a date with someone you don’t know very well, a long term partner or dinner in with your husband of 30 years it is an ideal time to spend some romantic time talking and eating over dinner and having some personal time together.

What you wear will very much depend on:

• How you want to come across – trendy, sexy, romantic or classic
• Where you are going – eating in an expensive restaurant, low-key dinner,  cinema/theatre and dinner,  at home or local bistro
• If you don’t know, then wear something that you feel fits in with several options. e.g. woman – favourite dress, favourite smart jeans or trousers/skirt and top with a nice jacket/cardigan. Man -  a  colourful /pattern shirt with smart jeans or trousers with a smart jacket

As an image consultant I would say it is key to look like you have made some effort e.g. women well applied makeup and hair. Men - neat hair, a special shirt and some smart shoes. Pink is the most loving of colours and red is exciting and emotional and has the maximum visual impact, blue is calming, green is relaxing and restful.

Ensure you look happy, shoulders and neck relaxed and smile and enjoy the evening. Remember your manners, be polite. It is generally appropriate for the man to pay, but in the modern world it may be you share or if you are a woman who has asked the man out you may wish to pay, but whatever, the person treated needs to ensure they thank on the evening plus telephone, send a text, note or email next day to say a thank you and something about the evening .

My husband always cooks and often includes some blini and caviar and I supply a bottle of champagne, as he cooks and I study wine! So cheers to a great evening!

Having good manners is part of our Personal Image hence Business Etiquette is included in my speaking engagements and Appearance Management corporate workshops.
Etiquette is the rules of social behaviour, whilst manners are how we apply them. In the United Kingdom, Royal and State occasions are the most formal. They are organised by Buckingham Palace and guidance is always given to anyone invited.

Displaying good manners can be summarised simply as having respect for others as well as being considerate to other people.  Manners should be consistent, although as people travel more widely and we interface with numerous different cultures we need to be conscious of adapting these according to the people we are with, the environment and circumstances.

There are differences between social and business etiquette, e.g. in a business environment men and women must be given equal treatment; any distinctions are determined by rank and position. In a social context, on the other hand, women often find that men may show a level of attention like holding the door open or pulling out a chair.

Having good social skills enhances your personal and professional image and reputation. It can also give you the competitive edge and help you to stand out from the crowd. It strengthens relationships and with experience you will feel more comfortable as you develop personal poise and confidence. People like being with people they feel comfortable with and whose company they enjoy. Etiquette is about presenting yourself with the kind of polish that shows you can be taken seriously.

Good manners may not be commented on but bad manners will never be forgotten.

I will cover various subjects in future blogs for you to consider as good manners in business.

Burns Night – Wednesday, 25 January 2012

Burns night is one of the most celebrated events in the Scottish cultural calendar, celebrated throughout the entire world. The Burns Supper can be a formal or informal occasion and is a celebration of Robert Burns.

What to wear to a Burns Night Supper?

If you’re Scottish then of course a kilt is the best for a man! The tartan, or plaid, pattern of your kilt should reflect the traditional  pattern of your ancestor’s clan. If you don’t come from a Scottish background and want to wear a kilt, consider using one of the more  universal tartans such as a Black Watch, Royal Stewart or a Jacobite pattern.

A more formal Burns Night supper ceremony may require a black tie dress code of dinner jacket and bow tie or a kilt or the Highland dress for the men and an evening dress for the ladies. Less formal Burns Night suppers may require men to wear a suit or jacket and tie with smart trousers whilst women a smart dress, a skirt or trousers with a smart blouse. It is often a good idea as a guest to wear an article of tartan clothing such as a tartan tie, tartan skirt, tartan trousers or even tartan socks or tartan tights. If you receive an invitation to attend an event the dress code for the Burns Night supper should be stated on the invitation or ticket.

How to Wear a Kilt

A man should wear a kilt that sits on his waist and falls to the middle of his knees. The pleats are at the back of the kilt. The jacket should coordinate with the formality of the event and with the rest  of your outfit.”Prince Charlie” jacket  is appropriate for weddings and other formal events.

It is important to wear the correct accessories with a kilt:

1. Sporran - strap on the sporran about three fingers below your waist
2. Hose - men usually wear hose (socks) in black or cream. Black was originally worn for funerals but is worn more often now. Cream is generally the best bet for evening or formal occasions.They should be folded two to three fingers below kneecap.
3. Flashes – place flashes on the outside of the leg, covering the strap with the fold of the  sock top.
4. Kilt pin - A kilt pin is decorative and it is intended to give the apron a little bit of  weight to keep it from flapping open.  Place a kilt pin on the open flap along the right-hand side.
5. Sgian-dubh -  a Gaelic  name, is a small, singled-edged knife worn tucked into The top of the kilt hose with only the upper portion visible. The sgian-dubh is normally worn on the right leg. To carry a sgian-dubh is legal in Scotland, England and Wales whilst the person wears a Scottish costume, but some say it is advisable not to wear it  if strolling in the street.
6. Ghillie Brogues – they need to be cross laced and pulled into simple knot. Twist three times and pull  tight again to create a thong. Pass laces around ankle back, bring to front and  tie a bow, letting laces and toggles hang in front.

If you are lucky enough to attend an event then enjoy and have fun and do try the haggis and whisky!

This year is going to be tough according to many economists with the job market and business very competitive, therfore  it is important that you dress well and look professional for your work or business. It is also important to have comfortable and smart clothes for relaxation and social events so you feel and look happy and confident.

After 16 plus years as an image consultant, helping people with their wardrobe, here are Appearance Management ‘s suggestions on what to consider to achieve a great wardrobe:

10 tips for a great wardrobe to suit your lifestyle and budget:

1. Ensure your clothes fit you well, consider alterations where necessry. It will pay dividends when your clothes look like they belong to you and show your figure at its best.
2. Ensure your clothes are clean, neat and tidy at ALL times.
3. Take time to sort your wardrobe. Try mixing and matching items, to give your outfits a different look and make a change.
4. Mend items when they need it or take them to a tailor or dressmaker. They will last longer and look better. This includes wearing trousers at the correct length so that they do not fray.
5. Plan what you need for the various events in your life and look out for bargains where you have gaps and need new items.
6. Colours should mix and match, so choose a family of shades  that suit you and that go with one another. Have key items in neutral shades e.g. black, navy, grey or camel.
7. Add accessories to your clothes to update them, adapt them for various occasions and to change your look.
8. Swop with a member of the family or friend, especially items you are not keen on or for an event you do not go too very often.
9. Dye items when colours have faded or are the incorrect colour to go with your other items.
10. Have layered items for the changeable weather, wear a vest or thick cardigan in the cold, light weight tops work well in the warmer weather or can be worn underneath on cold days.

The cost of household bills is increasing and so now is not the time to waste money on clothes you do not need or wear. Sorting, organising and planning is key. A little time spent on your wardrobe will pay dividends and will give you extra money for holidays or for saving. Buy the best quality you can afford so they last longer.